Rumbles and Tumbles are Part of the Game

‘Loss’ Why is it painful?

2012-02-10T09:06:00.000-08:00

Today was not like any other Friday! Today was a long and painful day!

It was a complete shocker to hear that my Friend’s dad passed away in a heart-attack!

“He had no health issues; he was not a cardiac patient! I can’t believe this! It’s very difficult, it’s very difficult” she said with eyes blinded with tears. I have never seen her like that and it was painful to see her that way. I had no words to make her feel any better! Looking at her face generated painful spasms in my heart, but I had no words for her!

I really hope you feel better soon!

Home Away

2011-10-14T00:37:00.000-07:00

Staying away from parents is not an easy job. At least not for someone like me! All my life I have been guided by my mom. My dad mostly leaves things to me. He believes in the concept, “You reap what you sow, I have given you life and education. You now know what to do with your life”. On the other hand, my mom is concerned, over concerned I should say. To be exact, she fears that we shouldn’t go out of the name, morals and ethics that our family has displayed so far. Now, that’s why she plays the role of our (me and my brother’s) life guide.

The moment I stepped out of my house to peruse my life and career. Hell came down, I was always named a “rebel” in my peace loving family and now they called this “the ultimatum”. After all initial “don’t go dear” followed by “Get lost, never come back!” it’s finally peace now (at least that is what I assume!)

After all that, here I am, writing how difficult life is without you ma. It’s not the comfort of home I am talking about; it’s your company and warmth that I miss. I miss doing all those home chores that you would have to yell ten times for me to do. I really do miss that. I miss the way you feed me when I rush to office in the morning. I miss taking you for a drive. I miss calling you from the super market to read out the list of grocery that I always forget at home. I miss you yelling at me for not picking the dried clothes before it gets wet in the rain. I miss your face-to-face polambals. I miss your chella kovams.

It’s been quite a while I saw your pretty face and I feel life is so lonely already! No one in this world can put up with me but you ma. I miss you so very much. I know you will never read this, still, someday you will know that I am not happy being away from you. But I have to stay put for a little while. As you say I learn by burning my fingers, let me burn it a little more. When this episode winds up, I will have some stories to tell. You will have your, ever happy to say, “I told you so!” to tell.

On a Rainy Night...

2011-10-12T10:51:00.000-07:00

The place was deserted, justifying the unusual eerie silence. Faint footsteps of a pair of boots came closer and closer. It was clear that someone is nearing. Yet, Tammy refused to move her head away from her computer screen.

“Hey, haven’t you left yet?” a bright clear voice hit her from behind. It was Vishwanth, her manager.

“Damn Vish, you startled me! Your laptop was nowhere to be seen so I thought you left.”

“I gave my laptop for an upgradation and went for a smoke break. So why are you staying late? Well… I don’t remember assigning you a Solitaire game to play!!!.” Vishwanth peeped into her computer screen with his trademark “naughty” smile.

“Ah! Don’t worry boss I sent my review to the onshore team. They’ll take a week to get back on that. Don’t tell me that you have extra work for me now!” Tammy clutched her lips with disappointment.

“ha ha… no Tam, definitely not on a Friday evening. Why are you staying late playing Solitaires anyway?”

“Vish, I guess you are losing your memory. I had applied for a week off and you approved it yesterday. Remember?”

“Oh… yea I remember. Days pass so fast! So, all set for your vacation? What time is your flight?”

“It’s at eleven. I thought I can hang around for a while because It’ll take days to travel from my apartment to the airport.”

“At eleven? Are you kidding me? I think you have to start now. My brother said the traffic is pretty bad today. A truck rammed into a car and vehicles are moving at the speed of an inch per hour!”

“What? Damn! Okay see you then. I will hurry up.” Tammy clicked the shutdown button without even closing her game of Solitaires. She dumped her headphones, notepad, and pen into her already stuffed travel pack and loaded it on her back.

“Tam, wait up! I will drop you.” Vishwanth pulled his car keys out of his loose jeans pocket.

Tammy froze. “Vish dropping me? In his car? I had to sit beside him for more than an hour? That will be a nightmare!”

She said “nightmare” because she had a huge crush on Vishwanth from the day he threw his charming smile at her. Every time Vish calls her to discuss work. Her heart will start pumping more than it should. There are days that she was tempted to ask for a change of project just because she couldn’t take her eyes off him during every discussion.

“…..and now he is asking me to travel with him for more than an hour? What if I keep ogling at him and he finds my little secret out? Damn! It looks like a good offer but NO Tam, DO NOT take it!”

“Tammy, why on earth are you looking like a freaked out puppy? Come on it’s getting late”

“Errr… I will take a rick. Ricks are smaller and they can zip zap zoom in this kind of traffic. Moreover you stay in the other side of the city. I don’t want to trouble you”

“Oh come on Tam, it started raining too. It’s a very bad idea to take a rick now. I really don’t mind travelling. I love driving and you know that!”

“Duh…In this mind wrecking traffic too?

“Now come on! Don’t waste time. I am sure rick is not a good option. You wanna go home or not? Your call!”

“agrr… fine I agree. Drop me please boss!”

“ha ha… alright then. Move fast”

Down in the parking, Vishwanth helped Tammy settle her huge back pack in the rear seat of the car while Tammy kept biting her nails, praying that she shouldn’t do anything stupid that will give him a hint of her crush.

Vishwanth, the gentleman he is, pulled the door open for Tammy. “Now stop biting your nails like a kid. I will make sure you catch the flight. No worries!”

Tammy smiled and slid inside the brand new BMW. “Geez… how can he afford such a car! His parents must be rich. Real bad idea to have a crush on a rich guy. Now I can be confident that he is not ‘my type’ Tammy will never go after rich men! Can never trust them you see!”

“Hey Tam, you are unusually silent! Still worried?” Vishwanth asked with the same old amile that Tammy can never resist.

“Nice car!” Tammy almost screamed unsteadily.

“That’s not an answer! Anyway, thanks! This is not my car. It’s my brother’s. I am planning to buy a Black Corolla in a couple of months”

“That’s a great choice!” Tammy sounded pretty unnatural to him. She was almost sticking to the door like a lizard, very consciously avoiding any small physical contact.

The rain subsided slowly and the roads showed no sign of traffic. “looks like your traffic update is not accurate!” Tammy, finally in her natural chirpy tone.

“Oh! Guess what? I said that on purpose because I wanted to drop you myself”.

Tammy was shocked to hear what Vishwanth just said. “WHAT? WHY?” She tried to sound angry but couldn’t hold back her blushing cheek.

Vishwanth did not answer her, “Well, here we are! You have one more hour for the flight. Clear all your formalities and give me a ring. Have a save flight Tam”.

“Bu… but why would you want to drop me? Why did you lie about the traffic?” Tammy sounded perplexed.

Vishwanth pulled her bag out of the rear seat and helped Tammy put it on “I thought you are a smart girl Tam! See ya! Will miss you, I hope you will miss me too!” He gave her a gentle hug “You have a flight to catch mam! You better hurry up. The airport is pretty busy before festivals.”

He got into the car and pulled down the windows. “Have a great vacation Tam. See you soon” Vishwanth threw his usual wink-and-smile at her and zoomed out of the picture.

“This is just a dream! Else am interpreting things in the wrong way! God! I just can’t believe this whole episode!” Tam mumbled as she walked into the airport.

The Girl on The Runway

2011-09-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

I met this girl on the runway of life

Big eyes gleaming with love. Love for someone or something that only seemed like a distant dream

Eyes so deep like a black hole echoed the bottomless search for the purpose of life.

I met this girl on the runway of life

Stranded by her, and the rest of the world

Scared by every effort that went into love and life.

I met this girl on the runway of life

Begging me to give up, on her

Give up staring into the mirror, at her, every day and night.

I met this girl on the runway of life…

Changing Era

2011-09-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

I am really surprised to hear that some men are now choosing their GF based on the school and college that they went to, organisation they are working for, and their designation! Looks like all proposal letters are going to include three more magic words “PFA my resume”!!!

Dude… isn’t this concept called “Arranged Marriage”?

Mankatha

2011-09-04T08:08:00.001-07:00

Watching a Thamizh movie in a cinema hall is a complete NO NO in my list. Yet, I watched Mankatha for a few reasons such as I was totally vetti, I sensed depression is slowly getting on me, I didn’t go home this weekend (I really should have! Am angry on myself for that!), and I promised my Bengali friend that I will take her to a Thamizh movie! Also, I was curious to find out if Ajith has imitated George Cloony throughout the movie. (Thank fully he has not. But, he does resemble him in some angles) I actually loved his natural greys and honestly appreciate it too ^_^ Mannn…some men become more handsome as they age ;)

So ya… this is no movie review. I spent 150 bucks on this movie and enjoyed watching:

The dash of comedy by Premji – He kind of repeats his dialogs and dialog delivery style in every movie. However, it tickled a laugh out of me.

Ashwin kakumanu – His obvious good acting skills and extreme good looks kept me glued to my chair ;) (Boy, how did I not notice this guy in Nadunisi Naygal?!?! )

Vhaibav Reddy– A Tan skinned, fully bearded, average height guy with cute little eyes portrayed as a Romantic and SINCERE HUSBAND! :D (If we minus the “duh… he was a thug in the movie!” part, he’s my kinda fantasy guy :D) Boy Vhaibav, you are getting better and better at your acting : ) keep up the good work boy! ; )

Trisha – This lady is ever so gorgeous! Though she was not given much of a screen space, I Luved her costumes and the lady herself ;) she is beautipul for sure!

If you think this post is more of a “drool over”, it is completely Mr. Venkat Prabu’s fault! Oh yes, the story was totally predictable, the music was a great disappointment, same pubbing, clubbing, alcohol, smoking, gals in bikinis or almost bikinis…. Ufff am a bit tired of watching that crap!

Summing it up, two nice looking guys and a gorgeous lady on screen, a dash of comedy by premji, and a cup of coffee in a dark theatre with two office pals is not a bad way to spend a Sunday evening! :D

All in a 40 min Ride

2011-08-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

“Kemon acho? apni kono kaj koren na keno?” , “barthavu barthavu…. Cabu late”, “mujae kya karon yaar? Subeh se shaam PPTs dheke aanko karab kogay”, “nyan achanandae parayalla chaechi”… this kichadi of verbal delicacy is what will flow in to your ears if you are on your way back home in my office cab. Though it is a positive sign of diversity in a cab it sometimes becomes VERY annoying! (That too after a looong day of fighting with macros and putting up with the, “I will take my own sweet time to load” servers!) The big bad city is already noise polluted, you can neither open your windows to listen to a serene city environment nor ask these people to lower the volumes in their vocal chords!

The little pleasure you can take in these ‘verbal kichadi’ cab rides is to identify the words that are similar to your mother tongue and say to yourself, “ah…hah! I know this word! (The word might completely mean something else, but does that matter anyway?)

Even if you try your best of best to find one tiny weenie positive point in a ghastly cab ride, there comes the “be my navigator” part where you have to give precise directions to the cab driver. Otherwise, you will end up going in circles around the big bad city! And this is the case every day!!!

P.S: Did I hear anyone say, “c’mon you get picked and dropped by your office cab. It must be so convenient!”? ah uh… you should try it! It’s fun… like a roller coaster ride in a fish market!

Golden Word Heh?

2011-08-19T00:18:00.000-07:00

“Maths is life! Do not ignore it dear, please take it up as one of your subject in Junior College” said my senior at school. I did understand what he said, but the fact is that I just had a total aversion towards maths (I think i have arithmophobia! O_o). So I went on… led a life without bothering much about maths for all these NINE years. Now, I can’t help but recollect the phone conversation I had with my senior when I heard, “I think I should reconsider my relationship with you, considering your terrible maths!” from my guy! Okay senior, now I get it… looks like maths has the power to determine everything! Uuff!!! Watta life man!

Uncertain

2011-07-16T01:07:00.000-07:00

I wish I could pull down the blinds

On all ye curious minds

With all questions piercing me like lances

I can’t answer taking my chances

For life is so uncertain

Who knows what’s behind the curtain!

The overwhelming amount of uncertainties that life brings does not make it even a bit interesting. “Live the moment, life is fun”, some say. However, in my opinion, it is just a trick to cheat your brain from sinking into the swirl of confusions, boredom, and worries. Perhaps I feel that way because I am now living all by my own, swirled by uncertainties. Every single person I meet somehow ends up popping a question for which my possible answers will be “mmm…I am not sure!” or “uugghhh…I have nooo idea!”

I did not get into what those questions are because for now I have no answers for anything! My temporary objective is not to live the moment but to let it pass…waiting for that moment which can give me some answers! (Am tired scratching my brain you see!)

Journey

2011-07-09T00:24:00.000-07:00

Moments of bliss became past

Brimming with memories that will everlast

Where we head, no one knows

But honey, I know the path is no bed of rose

Hold my hand and walk with me

The path doesn’t matter as long as it’s with thee.

Impressions

2011-06-22T06:06:00.000-07:00

It feels like I almost forgot to write! But today, I felt it’s about time! So, here it goes…my first impressions of the city that I now live in.

For a moment, it appeared as if the tall sky scrapers where held straight by golden stings that pierced through the clouds. The vast mass of coconut trees, cheerfully danced with the wind. At a distance, I was able to see only a little of the large lake, brilliantly reflecting the dusky orange and maroons of the sun. The pet hump of the city, the Nandhi hills was swirled by foggy clouds. A couple of Kites went in circles, looking for their prey. And a flock of bright green birds flew against the direction of the fiery wind.

This is a magnificent view that I see every evening from the top of my office building. I didn’t realize that this place is actually beautiful until today! Hopefully this place will be one source of inspiration that will keep my blog going!
Cheers to b’lore!

~The Rain Crab

You Hurt Me!

2010-12-06T03:41:00.000-08:00

I have read and heard a lot of people say that “You don’t get hurt unless you let someone hurt you”. Well… there are two ways of looking at it. One, you become so curt a person that you don’t let them talk anything that will ever hurt you. The second way is, whatever crap they give you, you just smile, let it trespass your earlobes to the other ear, and finally out of your entire system.

According to many….If you are the former they say you are good to go! A strong headed, confident person maybe! But if you are the later, you are not a confident person, an easy prey for others to take advantage of! Or someone who cannot speak up for themselves when someone is tearing them up for their own pleasure!

I totally disagree : ) just try to be the later…. You know how many nerves and muscles are put to test! How difficult it is to be “The Saint” ^_^

Your system imbibes patience only with the passage of time! Maybe that’s why I feel sooooo old!!! ^_^

P.S: This might sound like a filler! I really need to get into the "blog bloggin" sooon!!! : )

Painting a Pain

2010-10-28T11:40:00.000-07:00

The pain is as dark as it looked

Do it once, it gets you hooked

It tests your strength,

even if you paint a granth

Some who are in vain,

try painting their pain!

I never thought I will take such a long break from blogging, but hey… it’s always like that isn’t it? You never know what happens next! Too many things happening and too many things to do, yet, time remains too little for everything!

Well, in this too little time I had for myself in the past couple of weeks, I accompanied my friend to a weird weird place that made me wonder if hell would look similar. It was filled with nerve wracking, hard core rock songs and a weird smell, was that liquor? I really don’t want to know! The music was too loud that my heart tried to escape through my throat! And how that felt was not pleasant, trust me!

No no I am not talking about a pub or disc or something. It was just a small tattoo parlor run by two freaky looking guys! I really don’t know how smoke (smoke is my friend’s best name ;)) and those guys managed to have a conversation in that ear bleeding-music filled room. I escaped the pain of listening by just giving a “thumbs up” when they finalized on the design!

The tattoo guy traced the design on a special tattoo print sheet, pressed it on smoke’s arm, and peeled the sheet away…you know just like the boomer tattoos! :P but then came the real action! The guy started puncturing a thousand holes on the traced design with a sharp needle. Well, at first it looked as simple as embroidering a cloth to me, but then I realized it was a hell a lot of pain when I saw my friend’s weird expressions and fake smile. (The pain looked obvious smoke! :P)

“So why all the pain? The design is going to stay on your arm forever. Won’t you ever get bored of it?” I questioned.

“A physical pain to get over the worse that’s inside.” He replied with the same fake smile.

Hmmm… I am never getting myself a tattoo! Not really for the pain… I get bored easily! : )

Happy 1st B'day Bloggy!

2010-09-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

Dear bloggy...
Happy b'day!
Thank you for putting up with all the crap I write
and thank you for all the blogger friends you earned me!

Deep in the Woods

2010-09-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

Deep in the woods, I was alone, dancing with the air

You came in like a knight on a mare, out of nowhere

Embraced me with an arm around my waist

Pulled me closer, barely spared an inch untraced

Closer, until my senses quenched with your scent and taste

While your deep wine eyes pierced into mine, testing my chaste

Out you vanished taking my soul in your snare

Deep in the woods, I was alone, dancing with the air

Waiting for you in the depths of despair

Who is here to stay?

2010-09-01T05:45:00.000-07:00

Everything, everyone will leave me someday

Sprinkling darkness over all that is now gay

Stranding me all alone, until tears roll down my cheeks

Breaking my heart, snubbing all its creaks

Everything, everyone will leave

Leave me only with grieve

Who is here to stay... what is here to stay...

While I stay with nothing but my rue to exist!

The Little Green House on Burton Road

2010-08-17T06:13:00.000-07:00

When I woke up, I was in a room with cracked walls and withering green paint. I couldn’t see anything in the room but an old wooden chair that looked more like a lounge sans its cushions. Bright sunlight gushed in through a doorless doorway that was right in front of me. “Where am I and how did I get here?” I asked myself.

I tried to rise from the wooden chair to get out the place, and landed my feet on something wet, which was actually a bucket of warm water! “What the heck?!?!” I screamed, but hey… I din hear my voice! I froze in sheer shock. What is happening to me? I screamed again, “helllooooooo”, again I couldn’t hear my voice but the thumping of my heart. I could even feel my pulse behind my ears. I stepped out of the bucket and felt the cushy floor, the floor was cushy because it was carpeted with layers of dirt that stuck on my wet feet like a sock! “Yuck! What kind of place is this? And why couldn’t I hear my own voice?” Not long before I tried to take the next step, a pretty woman came running in “No No don step out! I forgot to clean the floor! Please sit down”. I sat down like a hypnotized puppy, gazing at her flawless face. She must be elder to me by some ten years at least, but her face was young and flawless. My eyes did not want to lose hold of the woman’s incandescent face! As I kept glaring at her, she dipped my feet in to the bucket and started cleaning it. “What’s happening? Why are you cleaning my feet?” I forced my mouth to be heard but no it didn’t work. I tried to convince that this is just a dream but the warm water and the woman’s soft fingers fondling my feet evaded me from self-convincing.

“I am done with cleaning the floor. You can go now!” Her resonating voice woke me up form my trance.

I stood up to face her back, “Where am i? Who are you?” I could hear my voice now, what a relief! for a second I thought I went dumb. What the heck now? The door is open! I better run instead of starting a weird conversation in this totally creepy place. I ran out of the door and everything outside looked normal. I was in the same route that I took to go home from college. As always, people and vehicles ran past, not noticing anything around. I stopped at a crossroad to get to the other side. I tried to squeeze through the gaps between the grunting vehicles. Before I reached the other side, something caught my attention! I stopped and looked in to the glass window of the car that stood in front of me. “May be something’s wrong with the glass!” How can I not have a reflection! I calmed myself down and went to the nearby clothes showroom to re-check what I saw or rather din’t see! Mirrors and more Mirrors all around but none reflected my image!

I rushed out of the store, crossed the door, and went in the direction I came from. I kept running, looking for that old green house. I couldn’t find it. I know I am in the right place, I know it is here! I am always good with routes! I stood in the middle of the road confused of what is happening around me! I could not take this pressure any longer. My head started spinning and fell on my knees.

Flashes of memories crossed my mind. Yes, it was a bet! I challenged my friends that black magic and witches do not exist…That’s how I got there! There was a rumor in town that the green little house on Burton road is jinxed and a witch steals the most valued possessions of people who enter the house! That is how I lost my reflection! I keep starring in to the mirror all day! I valued my reflection more than anything else in my life. I know I cannot find the house or the witch forever because I know I am cursed now!

I am kneeling in the middle of the road not knowing where to go!

Gosh!!! Kids now days!!!

2010-08-12T22:17:00.000-07:00

Today when I stepped out to pick the morning papers, (don get me wrong here! I never wake up early… jus that my mom forgot to pick the papers today; she was busy screaming to get me outta bed;)) I noticed some new people in the house opposite to ours . The lady of the house smiled at me and asked me to come over to give some pooja prasadham. When we were busy introducing ourselves, her son came in at jet speed and crashed on her legs.

The following was the conversation between my neighbor’s 5ish old son and me:

Me: (To his mom) choo cute…What’s his name?

His Mom: Sai Karthik

Me: (softly pinchin his chubby cheeks) Chooo cute! Nice name!

Sai: I am not cute I am smart!

Me: ooooh.. okay you are smart and cute!

Sai: (angrily) NO! I am not cute… cute are gals… you cute not me!

Me: O_o’ he he thanks!

Sai: But I won’t say you are beautiful! You are just cute! There is difference... know?

Me: ~@_@~ Oh Yesh!!! Alrite junior romeo!!! You know a lot!!! Me gotta go now! we'll discuss about this in the evening ;) Taaatah!

Sai: Taaatah! (In the same tone and modulation as mine with some chuckles!)

Gosh!!! Kids now days!!!

One Wrong Turn

2010-08-02T06:49:00.000-07:00

I knew it was a bad idea to start at this time, but she just wouldn’t listen to me. I did not want to press it on her more because I knew she loved Korean music. She often tells me that sitting on the steep Prism Gallery and listening to the shards of music thrown from the strings and tight hides takes her into a beautiful trance.

“Please come with me Peter, the weather report said there will be no snow storm today. C’mon don’t make me beg! You said you will come with me to the concert this year!”

“Oh boy why are you so adamant Iris?” I furrowed my brows and caught her eyes that were chained to my face. She was ignoring all the negative signs and was waiting for that small bit of an expression that will give her a yes. “Alright, give me the keys, I will drive. “

“That’s my Peter Teeter!” She hugged me and gave a warm peck on my cheek. I don’t mind being the devil, to let her beg just to see her sweet puppy dog face ad this warm hug. Oh boy! I love it when she behaves like a 5 year old. I have never seen her behave this way with any other man or woman. The Iris others know of is a strong headed, hardworking, professional. I am the only privileged soul to see the fun side of her, and I love every bit of it.

The instant I started my car, the snowfall became heavier. She jerked her shoulders and gave me a coy smile. “Okay, I am taking you there no matter what!” I said that though all I wanted to do was to sit at home and have a bottle of beer.

Why am I doing this? Well, Iris and I know each other for two years now. No, we are not seeing each other; I won’t call us friends either! Yet, we are there for each other when we want a shoulder to lean or a silent ear to listen to all our nonsensical talks. We share the deepest of our secrets and we are what we actually want to be with each other’s company. We share a special bond that has no name or definition. I broom away all my lame and lazy excuses for her and I don’t regret anything that I give up for her.

Shadows grow so long before my eyes
And they're moving across the page
Suddenly the day turns into night
Far away from the city
But don't hesitate 'cuz your love won't wait
Ooh baby I love your way (everyday)
Wanna tell you I love your way
Wanna be with you night and day
Moon appears to shine and light the sky
With the help of some fireflies
I wonder how they have the power to shine, shine, shine
I can see them under the pine
But don't hesitate'cuz your love won't wait…..

The stereo cried one of our favorite songs. We started singing in tune with the stereo. Iris tried to dance a bit in the squeezed space, inside my old Chevy. We were singing and laughing aloud like a drunk couple, may be that was why I din’t notice the truck. May be that was why I forgot that the road was more slippery that night. May be that was why i took the wrong turn... No, it was my mistake and I will never get her back now; I should have never listened to her… I should have stayed home, snuggling her, holding her tight…not letting her go… not letting her go….I should have stayed home... Iris please come back... Iris...

“Calm down sir, you will be fine soon.” “Aren’t the trauma care unit here yet? What are you doing Ross? listening to some kinda family drama story? Get your ass moving call those lazy buckos and ask them to hurry up.”

Calling A1O…Steve…there is an accident reported in four-west downing road… do you copy… repeat… four-west downing road…

“Holy Christ! It’s a long…long… day Ross. Did you call the fools or not???”

The Fall - Random Nothings

2010-07-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

No, I did not think twice before stepping on it! Yet, I don’t regret! The earth was cushy and I stepped on it knowing that I would fall into the deep dark cavity that lies behind. Will I drown inch by inch in to the pit? Will I be swallowed by this quicksand or will I pass through it and have a long fall like Alice of Wonderland?!?!

I bang my head and repeat, “I forgot to anticipate before so I don’t want to anticipate the fall now!” However, I do not wish it to be quick sand, for I do not want a suffocating death. I don’t want to be buried alive. I don’t want to feel alive while my heart stops beating.

Yes, I prefer to fall…like Alice! I want to have a scary long fall. I want the cold air to hit me until I feel my cheeks turn red. I want to travel the pit and take a bad hit. I want to get up and discover my Wonderland or maybe a Neverland!

The fall is destined but the destination is not!

P.S: If you DON’T get the metaphor you might mistake me for a lunatic but If you DO… I know! I am pathetic!

Anticlimax

2010-07-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

Off center my thorax...

Why did you cut me with your axe!

Show no mercy! Burn it to ashes, for it still clacks!

Don’t save the remnants for the anti climax!

I Hate To Wake You Up

2010-07-14T06:24:00.000-07:00

The world stood still as you slept

I kept watching you wondering how the night leapt

As the sun rose, I brought my face to yours, close

Was that your cheeks or the petals of a rose?

A wisp of my hair landed on your cheek

Damn that woke you up with an eek!

Hope that moment lasted longer

Curse that wisp of the kisser!

Craziest Tag Ever!

2010-07-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

I Tag everyone who reads this!

This is my Tag:

Dear Varun,
I don't really know how to tell you this, The mafia wants you. I think I realized it When you put cuffs on me At the Elton John concert and I saw you Sit on The Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That your driving sucks. I'm returning Your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep Your criminal record as a memory. You should also know that I Love your sweet, sweet lips and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Your everlasting enemy,
Varshaa

How you do it
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When you smacked my elbow
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When I finally changed my underwear
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog bit my leg
December - When i threw out your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - rubbed anti-bacterial soap on
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey –The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Gossip Girl - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet lips
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my head as you read this
Cider– You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Juice – I have a passionate interest for mice
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself
Please post your answers as comments! I’d lovee to read it! :D

At last, it’s here - My 50th blog post!

2010-07-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

I never knew it would take such a long time for me to reach my 50^th blog post. Well, blame it on my ruthless work or my reckless laziness; it took me sooo long to reach this place!

I started my blog with the sole intention of owning a piece of the virtual world. However, I ended up creating a world of my own where I can have my own dragons and fairies to ride, a place where I can smoothly cast away my emotions in the gutter of words. A space that takes me out of desolation and hurls me in to the surreal land of dancing words, words on which I build a stronger…immune… world for my wandering thoughts and myself.

To all my readers, fellow bloggers, and friends: Thanks for being a part my world! And yes… This is my 50^th post and there are more to come before I sleep, more to come before I sleep ^_^

Raavana

2010-07-03T17:11:00.000-07:00

After listening and reading loads of criticisms about the movie Ravanan, I got more anxious to watch it! More like…what could possibly go wrong in a Mani Rathnam movie?!?!

Here is my take on the movie...

The Cinematography! Well… no one can ever say anything wrong about the cinematography of this movie. The whole movie carried the chillness of the waterfalls and foggy mountains across the screen, it reaches your skin and touches your soul (No ppl it really isn’t the work of the Air Conditioned theatre). Nature, from Santosh Sivan and V.Manikandan’s eyes is obviously made more beautiful.

The CG was quite impressive, esp in the scene where Vikram and Prithvi hang from the bridge. However, the scene in which Karthick jumps from tree to tree looked pathetic (Umm… Did Mani try to imitate the scene from Crouching Tiger and Hidden Dragon here?!?!).

The music speaks for itself, and with the awesome cinematography, the music did more than complimenting the scenes ; )

Ash looks stunning in this movie! Her looks eats her acting, or is it her acting that made her look soo pretty?!?! I am confused : ) But I felt she is more magnetic in this movie than any of her other movies. The amount of hard work she has put in to every scene is highly commendable. For once, a director has realized crying out loud and screaming is not an award worthy acting! I heard she has dubbed for this film too! Well… if that is true, she has done another tremendous job! The voice was awesome too!

Vikram has done his job neat as always. Be it the subtle romantic gazes, pulverizing anger, or even dance… it is just so natural! The unnatural part was his unusual grunting or cooing, whatever you call it! (Now, is that the “Kandhaswami” effect?!?!)

Prithvi… Okay I agree I really did not see how he acted and all! :P well… he looked his best in this movie! He has shed some weight and somehow got this angled jaw (like Hugh Jackman! Ok… no rotton tomatoes on me plz… jus my hazy opinion). His characterization of a strict and sincere police officer was not well crafted. It just made him look more villainy! Yet the ultimate point is he looked smart and handsome! ^_^

Priyamani, errr… okay I just saw another “muthazagu” here! Not that she did not act well or something… it’s just that Mani could have used a different actor cos this role is very very similar to her role in Paruthiveeran.

Mani, Karthik, and Prabu, comes together after Agni Natchathiram. (That was one of my fav movies!) It’s not fair to expect the same spark, given that this is a totally different story, and the actors are old, I have agree that both of them has done what they have been asked to do! ;)

I dunno why Mani chose to show Vaiyapuri as a transgender! But he has used the opportunity well! These small time actors can really act well, if given a chance! : )

Like everyone said, the editing had some glitches! Blame Mani or blame Sreekar… It is negligible according to me! I loved the movie and wish I could watch it again! To all media aspirants…There is a lot to debate and learn from this movie!

Little Manhattan

2010-06-28T03:27:00.001-07:00

This is one of the very few movies that hit me with a surprise. In the first few minutes of the movie, I thought it’s going to be boring, with no big star cast, a story about two kids in love, etc etc., well… how does that sound interesting. However, take it from me, the movie was awesome! Love, the beauty and pain associated with it cannot be better explained.

The story is about a 10 year old boy - Gabe falling in love with an 11 year old Rosemary, in his karate class. He is in love for the first time ever in his life and does all sweet things that an average lover boy does and finally ends up with a broken heart!

The best part of this movie is the music and dialogs. Really one should listen to the dialogs as they flow to actually feel it.

A few (Actually loads) of my favs dialogs:

Gabe: Somewhere a million miles away, the girl I once loved was going down her road, and I was stuck back on mine.

Gabe: Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. Love isn't about ridiculous little words. Love is about grand gestures. Love is about airplanes pulling banners over stadiums, proposals on jumbo-trons, giant words in sky writing. Love is about going that extra mile even if it hurts, letting it all hang out there. Love is about finding courage inside of you that you didn't even know was there.

Gabe: As I held onto Rosemary Telesco for dear life, we both knew the truth. She was going off to camp and eventually, private school. We were on different roads, she and me. Two ships that passed in Sheep Meadow.

Gabe: See, this is just like I told you. Same thing I knew getting into this whole mess - love ends.

Gabe: The truth is, you come into this world alone and leave it the exact same way.

Gabe: Love is an ugly, terrible business practiced by fools. It'll trample your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor. And what does it really get you in the end? Nothing but a few incredible memories that you can't ever shake. The truth is, there's gonna be other girls out there. I mean, I hope. But I'm never gonna get another first love. That one is always gonna be her.

Old Man on the Street: I had a girlfriend once upon a time, too. She trampled my heart. Left me bleeding on the floor. Run.

Gabe: What?

Old Man on the Street: Run while you still can, brother. Take my advice. Make like the wind.

Gabe: Look at me. I can bounce back. I don't need some girl in my life for me to happy.

Gabe: There are very few things more painful than watching the woman you love grapple with another man. Actually, I take that back. There are no things more painful.

Gabe: But it wasn't that easy. I guess love never is.

Ahhh… Sweet isn’t it! Amazing that a 10 yr old boy can think so matured! Maybe it’s cos he has a hell a lot of time ahead. Maybe cos he is not a 20 ish old guy! Whatever it is…This movie is a "Must watch" for anyone who like to spend 2 hrs of their life With Gabe, Like Gabe!

Stop Dreaming?

2010-06-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

How will I stop dreaming? I am a born dreamer!

I build reality on dreams…

Yes, dreams are improbable sometimes…

Dreams are precarious, they can shatter, they can hurt…

Yet, I am not going to stop…

I dream what I want and am not going to stop till it’s realized!

Call me a fool… I don’t care… this is what I want!

I am either fighting for it or leaving this illusionary world behind, all alone!

Best B'day Ever! ^_^

2010-06-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

Every year I think I grow up a bit more, but fortunately, I don’t! :P People say as you grow, your b’day becomes yet another day in your life! But naah not for me! I just can’t contol the excitement my b’day brings me, but this time the excitement was double :D (With a sparkling wink) and I just can’t stop jumping cos every June 24^th is going to be more awesome and more special!

I just want to register some of the sweet wishes here in my Blog ^_^ (couldn’t store all in my mob inbox u see ^_^) So here it goes…

Taj: Advance birthday wishes da. Many many more happy returns of the day. will try to wish u at 12 I may sleep off. Sorry for that :P and happy happy b’day! ;) (Thank you Ms. Perfect ;))

Karr: Wish u many more happy returns of tht day. Wish you keep smiling from this instant and for the rest of your life (Sure Karr I guess I will be! :D)

Jess: It’s 12 in my clock and ur day is here… wish u very very happy b’day. You have patiently invested 22yrs of your life and it’s time for life to repay it. You are an angel and you deserve every single happiness in your life. You are a bloody sweet gal so wish u a bloody sweet b’day to u! Treat me if you can J you will have my blessings too… any way I am elder than u so I can ;) hapy b’day varshu. (Am choking actually! ;) But thanks! Tat was sweet! :D and sorry couldn treat u :P)

Sai: Happy b’day dear. Take care and be happy forever. Forget me not... keep rocking as always. (I won’t forget ya… and thanks for not forgetting my b’day! :D)

DD: Hey ya…Many more happy returns of the day. Have an awesome year ahead. Let all your dreams and wishes come true! Happy birthday! (Thank you de ma! ;))

Leks: VVVVVVVV...hap hap happppy bday to uuu..happy bday to u..happy bday to u..happy bday dear V...happy bday to u...u were born in d zooo...u wr born in d zoo..especially with DD ;P n yaah..me too ^0^ loadza love n hugs... (This wish was in FB.. still one of the best! :) Thank u soo much dear :))

Ram: Jus half an hr more… advance wishes for your birthday… wishing you all the best for your future, you will reach olaces smart girl :) (Smart gal? ya ;) :D thanks :P)

Thank you soo much guys… I am soo glad to have you as my best best buddies :) I know I have missed loads of ppl here… but it doesn mean u guys are not spl… thanks a lott for remembering this day and wishing me!!!! (Really u guys make me fly wayyy beyond cloud 9 ^_^)

And smoke!!! Grrr… I have to remind him that today is my b’day! But… I am excusing you for the couple treat that you and ritz gave me ;) (Thanks and cheers to the most romantic couples :P)

I expected Mug to forget my b’day this yr too but she called and wished! So sweet of you muggy! Love you always!

Loads of wishes from friends and foes (too) but the special wish from the brown-eyed kitty ;) sooooo made my day! (loved every wrd u told me ^_^) Thank you sooo much…love ya…and miss ya :( :)

The only sad part today is that… my loving bro is not around this year cos of his proj work (?!?!? Cant believe it :P) (Yes yes for the first time ever, apart from the first 2 yrs of my life he is not with me on my b’day) I really miss you and the fun is not even half wen you are not around! Love you loads and missed you very very much! and (psstt... tatz the cake dad got for me.... u missed it :P ha ha ha)

Mom and Dad, You made this day a zillion times more special! Love you forever.. mmuuaah! :) :) :) :)

Identity Crisis???

2010-06-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

To live life to the fullest may not sound difficult but the truth is… it IS difficult! Especially when you are helplessly chained to the conventional systems of the society! Well… yes, you can break the chain but the chain shatter only to hurt the ones who are real close to you! This can be avoided if only people understand! People have to understand the fact that one’s life is in their own hands… they have to take their own decisions and whatever the decision is, they have to face the consequences! Our “not so developed society” is not so “for” this concept! Thrusting your systems and concepts on your dear ones is not going to make them any better! If they fall on their own, they will rise on their own!

It is only when you fear the world threatens you! It is only when you care what the world thinks of you… you lose your identity! We are gifted with just one life, and when we live fearing how we look from our neighbor’s eye view, we lose our greatest gift – Our Identity!

Prince of Persia

2010-06-19T02:33:00.001-07:00

I watched this movie like a week back, but just din’t feel like writing anything on it. Could be a huge writer’s block! Or you can say I was just too bored to do anything!

I watched the movie in the evergreen Satyam with my family (after a real long time ^_^). To start with, I found the movie neither griping nor boring. It was a decent entertainer. The graphics and the cinematography are definitely the wow factor of this movie. The narration was not really smooth, especially the part where Princess Tamina explains the history of the dagger. You might feel that the movie is a little rushed up (well...at least I felt that way).

If you have played the video game, you would definitely enjoy the stunts that they have tried to replicate in the movie. Jake Gyllenhaal who plays Prince Dastan has tried his best to get into the character! I kinda felt he looked and performed better in “The Day After Tomorrow and Brokeback Mountain” ;) (aaannd the long hair really din suit him :D). Gemma Arterton who plays the role of Princess Tamina looks better in the posters than in the movie, but her expressions in the movie are definitely cute! I kinda felt Sir Ben Kingsley was not used well! Though he did his part clean, Mike Newell could have given him a wee bit more screen presence. :-) Alfred Molina who plays the role of Sheikh Amar was awesome as ever, his dialog delivery and expressions were really funny, probably the most entertaining part of the movie!

Ultimately I had 2 hrs of good family and movie time! And I am not going to tell how the story goes cos I knw most of you would hav watched the movie already! (I know… I am writing this a bit late :P)

Well... if you haven’t watched Prince of Persia yet, plz go watch the movie and share ur views here ;)

Troisième Tag!

2010-06-14T04:17:00.000-07:00

Basically i have nothing to update in my blog now cos my brain has gone for a vacation! So here is a long tag! ^_^

1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:
SIFY?!?! (Wish that never happens ever again!)

2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on?

My bro’s phone!

3. What do your bank checks look like?
Blank, Neat, and Unused :P

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?

Shirt? Ok I am wearing a kurthi from Globus (Probably the only one I got from Globus ;))

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list:

Sony Ericsson Satio ;)

6. What color is your toothbrush?

Blueeee

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it:

Earrings and coffee mugs! I dunno I am just attracted to them!

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?

Well... it wasn’t exactly a restaurant, it was a café. I was with my school friend, and it was good… we were jus catching up on what’s happening and stuff!

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?

I guess it was years back…For my friend Mug!

10. What is your worst bad habit?

I cannot raise early! Ug huh… never ever!:-)

11. Name a magazine you subscribe to?

Errr… The Week (I read only the jokes and gossips…occasionally some interesting cover stories :P)

12. Your favorite pizza toppings?

I have started loathing pizzas!!! Dunno why!

13. Whose number where you looking up the last time you used a phone book?

My bro!

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most? The funny and nice guy! (Took the lingo frm neha ;))

15. What is the last thing you cooked?

Rasam... (That's the only thing that my mom lets me cook)

16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used?

Except for books I wouldn buy anything used!

17. Which shoe do you put on first?

Right!

18. What is the last thing you remember losing?

lost my fav keychain :-(

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?

My TV stand!!! It occupies half of my living room’s space, yet my dad wouldn sell it for a new one!!!

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?

Nothing!!!

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?

Charlie or Nivea.

22. Your favorite board game?

I don’t really like board games but if my bro really pushes me… I can play chess and monopoly

23. What was the last board game you played?

Monopoly I guess!

24. Where did your vehicle come from?

Hero Honda factory!

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?

I will write my own theme song some day and will post it here! ;)

26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily?

Snowyy ^_^

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?

Blue and pink

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most? Kitchen Slab!

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?

Actually I am planning to giv up on chicken so I am not answering this question :P

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?

Chocolateeee and jus chocolate! ^_^

Thanks Neha, for passing the TAG ;)

Please tag yourself if you like this ^_^ after all the purpose of a tag is to tag :P

Dearth

2010-06-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

Before the first gleam of dawn touches the earth

Before the koels start their morning mirth

Give me all that is you and fill your dearth

Fill your dearth before my eternity ends

Fill it only with you until my heart rends

For you’re the drug with which it mends